On an alternative to marriage and divorce

caring for living things

Nature loves diversity, it is always throwing up unique and exciting new patterns.  A healthy society is built upon this concept of nature, and I have no problem with alternative patterns in society as longs as people are happy and treat each other well.

As a child I had to experience two collapsed marriages of my parents, the impact was hard on me, and I am hostile to the concept of marriage.  The recent BBC television series by Louis Theroux called Alternative States dealt with the theme of relationships that involved more than two partners, called polyamory in episode one called Love Without Limits.

Having got over the initial weirdness of polyamory, I quickly realised that many people would benefit from this sort of relationship, having seen how this impacted the participants in the television episode.  Theroux interviewed two families who were involved in a polyamory relationship, the traditional marriages of both families was in trouble, where the partners had become unhappy, with the alternative being divorce.  One of the partners from each of the two families had entered into a relationship with the consent of their partners, so that each had a sexual relationship with two people, their own partner and the partner of another person.  Both families had children, and the children appeared happy about this sort of relationship, since they had both their parents still together, plus the benefit of other adults in their life.  The individuals who had to experience the sharing of their partner with another person was not enthusiastic about the situation but recognised the benefit to their relationship from a happier partner, which then boosted the security and happiness of their marriage.

Theroux interviewed two other females, each who had two men sharing their relationship, one female expecting a baby.  In each case everyone seemed happy in their relationship.  Clearly, here was an alternative to the traditional two-person relationships, and all the children in the situations benefited and appeared happy.

Another segment in the programme dealt with people who had a party where they were naked apart from covering up their sex organs, and fed each other food whilst blindfolded, whilst touching them except their private parts in different parts and ways.  I understood the thinking of why people wanted to have these type of experiences in a society where people no longer touch, this encouraging the production of hormones oxytocin and dopamine, however, I saw it as another new age gimmick for experience-junkies as an alternative to real relationships.

It is interesting to see how society is evolving to seeking alternative patterns to traditional roles such as relationships.  I am not bothered by whatever alternative emerges in society to traditional patterns as longs as people are happy and treat each other well.

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