On the Highly Sensitive Person

crossroads

Actions for a HSP such as me, such as walking in nature, is vital to calm down an over-sensitive nervous system.

I have recently become aware of a type of personality that makes up about 20% of the human population called Highly Sensitive People (HSP) the qualities that appear to describe me.  This is no disorder or disability, but is a healthy genetic natural personality which comes with its own challenges and abilities. The HSP has an over-sensitive nervous system that reacts at a higher sensitivity and intensity than most people.  The HSP is on a type of sensitivity spectrum, and there are those at the top 1% who have serious sensory problems, such as me.

 

I shall describe five traits of a HSP person:

Sensory issues

The senses of the body such as taste, hearing and balance.  Some of the issues I have include:

  1. a dislike of loud noise or high-pitched sounds.
  2. inability to wear jewellery; have tight wet clothes; wear sun cream .
  3. an adverse reaction to being uncomfortable and pain.
  4. dislike of swimming; extreme temperatures; swinging/roundabouts.
  5. being in crowds, and fast-moving situations.
  6. dislike of being touched roughly and unexpectedly.
  7. inability to handle spicy foods, and lots of bad reactions to food.

Emotional issues

I feel emotions with intensity which impair my choices and actions.  If I am aware of the suffering of children or an animal, this triggers immediate and intense set of emotions that make me feel distressed and ill.  I try to avoid horror movies, and anything that depicts suffering of animal or person, because of how badly I react to it, and it can cause me to self-harm or do something stupid.  I feel the suffering of others in my own body.

Adverse reactions to negative events

Rejection, confrontation, criticism, house-moves, exams and deaths are some of the events of life that has a massive impact upon HSP’s like me.  Whilst most people get over a criticism, I will ruminate and it will take ages to get over it.  Emotional melt-downs and angry reactions is common and normal for a HSP to even minor set-backs. The chances of an emotional melt-down is much higher: if I am ill; lack of sleep; hungry; uncomfortable, such as cold and wet; under stress such as deadlines and too many demands at the same time; over-stimulating environment.

Adverse reactions to stimulants

Small doses of caffeine, alcohol or a drug can cause an immediate and overwhelming reaction.  I keep away from alcohol and all drugs such as cannabis because I know that my already over-sensitive nervous system would be pushed over the edge with such stimulants that could put me and others at risk.

Being overwhelmed

Being overwhelmed is a common experience with a HSP like me, with constant bombardment of emotional and sensory activity in my body via my nervous system.  Avoiding situations such as being in a crowded and noisy space, having an opportunity to be alone, having downtime, and being in nature is vital, otherwise I will have an emotional meltdown, start self-harming or risk mental illness.

It is how it is

There is no point telling me to stop being sensitive, pull myself together, be a man, be in control.  To be able to meet the expectations of others means to suppress the experience of sensory and emotional activity in the body, which won’t vanish, it will manifest as self-harm, sickness and bad choices/actions that hurt self and others.  For the HSP it is about accepting these qualities as natural, and working with these traits in a positive way.  Thus it means avoiding certain situations, foods and stimulants.  It means providing opportunities to be alone, to have downtime, to use calming positive music and surroundings such as nature to calm the nervous system down.  It may seem weak, vulnerable and hard to accept being a HSP person, and working with HSP qualities, but, to do so will mean a happy, positive and fulfilling life to one of misery and suffering.

Autism and ADD/ADHD

The HSP qualities are common to those with autism and ADD/ADHD conditions, there is also a chance that a HSP individual could be wrong misdiagnosed and then medicated for a condition they never had, which will make matters worse for them.

A refocus from confrontation to creativity

In recent months my ability to control my HSP-like qualities has been lost, and thus I have had to seriously rethink my life choices and situation.  One issue concerns my campaigning against the Satan Hunters such as Sabine McNeill or Becki Percy, whose actions and the results of those actions is making me so distressed that I feel it would be better I stop campaigning against them.

It is my thinking that if I stopped fighting predators like Becki Percy, but instead refocus upon creating something such as an AI that would curb these monsters, then I would be indulging in something positive, creative and where I have a passion, without having to deal with so many negative feelings in my body.  It’s just that I am unable to cope with the toxic feelings, so this refocusing of my attention to something creative rather than confrontational is best for everyone, but also for my own mental health.

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The death of a cat

caring for living things

Satanists celebrate life.

They say we Satanists hurt animals and have no feelings for the lives of living things, in reality Satanists love life, and the lives of living things.

I lost a friend today, a cat.  Of the millions of cats in this world, it was my special cat, my friend, and to the mind of this cat, I was the favourite human in its life.  I knew the cat four years, it was semi-feral, a rescue cat that as a kitten had been booted out of its home to live outside in the raw elements because the family were concerned about cat diseases impacting their new-born baby.  At nine months old it had a litter of kittens, way too young, that impacted its strength, and lived half its life mistreated and neglected.  The cat to the end of its life prefered the outside, forced indoors only when the weather was cold and wet.

As I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD) relationships are never easy, it is difficult to keep my focus and motivation on relationships which are generally boring but require a lot of effort to maintain.  Most people give up on me, but this cat was persistent, never taking no for an answer, it went the extra mile, and established itself as part of my life.

My relationship with the cat was challenging, the cat would easily get upset, I was always complaining about it.  Grumpy, annoying, it would often try to sit on my computer or business paperwork when I was trying to work, it damaged one computer.  Always begging me for food, dribbling, throwing up, sharing its fleas with me, cat hair everywhere, and bringing in mud all over my paperwork.  Very demanding for attention, always at the wrong time.  It pushed me beyond despair.  Many were the sieges and battles of will that we had.

The Satanic ideal that the individual is the overall master in their life, was seriously undermined by this cat.  Only twice did I shout at the cat, to protect fledgling birds, and when it damaged a computer.  In 15 years of life, the four years of my association with this cat must have been a happy time for it, I went out of my way to look after the needs of the little creature.

Today, I lost my friend.  The cat had cancer, it was put to sleep.  I am distraught.  It is like a light went out in my life.  The needs of the cat was simple: food; warmth; comfort; grooming.  We who have ADD/ADHD find it challenging to give attention to other living things, because they are not interesting enough, but this cat worked with single-minded focus to break through my barrier to satisfy its simple needs, despite my resistance and complaints.  The cat became part of my life journey.

The Satanic path is a lonely path, but for four years, I had this cat on the journey.  Now I am alone, the cat is gone.  I have no regrets, I and the cat had a fruitful time together.  I will care for no other animal or cat again, ADD/ADHD people such as I do not have the focus or motivation needed to care adequately for living things.  If there is one thing I shall take with me as I move forwards alone, it is the memory of a persistent cat that never took no for an answer, to apply that attitude to my own life, especially against my own private hell that is ADD/ADHD.

Satanism and the Sith Code

thesithcode

Want success? Adopt the Sith Code.

In the Star Wars mythos the Sith Code is as follows:

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.

About Star Wars morality and hypocrisy of the Jedi

Star Wars embraces a black and white morality, which reflects American values; example, for the individual to selfishly pursue an interest they love doing is evil (Sith), but to die for your country is good (Jedi.)  In the Star Wars narrative a group of people break away from the Republic in order to pursue their own solutions to challenges such as piracy which the Republic was unable to address, the Jedi then waged war upon those peoples through manipulation, invasion and assassination, a face of tyranny that I despise and would oppose.

In Star Wars the Sith are shown to be morally evil by having their looks, behavior and demise always portrayed in negative terms.  Yet, on closer examination, the Sith Code embraces something positive and true, and those that would embrace this code in their lives won’t necessarily become ugly in look, twisted by hatred, greed and madness or suffer an unfortunate end.

An examination of the Sith Code

“Peace is a lie…” I have covered this here, peace is a fiction, nature moves, changes and evolves through the strife of opposites; peace leads to all things becoming sick, broken and lost.

“…there is only passion.” As an individual who suffers from ADD (ADHD without the H) I suffer problems of low dopamine that impacts my motivation.  Only by embracing something that excites me can I get adequate dopamine, which is why passion is important to my ability to survive.  For me passion is dopamine, and so I have to avoid what kills my dopamine, and pursue what gives me dopamine in all my decision-making.

“Through passion, I gain strength.” If I gain dopamine from an activity that I have passion about, the dopamine will form noradrenalin a hormone that creates focus.  People with ADD/ADHD have problems of focus as well as motivation because without dopamine they cannot produce noradrenalin. If I have focus, I have my strength. 

“Through strength, I gain power.” People who have focus and passion at a certain level describe how they have gone into a zone.  People with ADD/ADHD have a useful ability called hyper focus, which is similar to being in the zone. 

“Through power, I gain victory.” Too many people fail because they don’t have enough focus and motivation, they are easily distracted and unmotivated by obstacles.  Those in the zone or have the hyperfocus ability will ignore distractions and will smash through obstacles to victory.

Through victory, my chains are broken. Those that are successful are usually breaking their limits and boundaries, for instance rejecting the noise of others that they are failures.  Society and self-imposed limitations can frustrate the self from achieving its full potential, once the individual however is in the zone, they are busting through any limitations.

“The Force shall free me.”  I prefer to replace the word “Force” with “Black Flame” which describes the hormonal process that brings about successful completion of goals. There is nobody more liberated than an individual achieving their potential.

On adopting the Sith Code

I have adopted the Sith Code, as from an ADD/ADHD point of view, it makes sense to me.  However, anyone who wants to embrace greater success in their lives, might consider how the Sith Code might be useful to them.