Sinister goings on at church

Do you ever wonder what really goes on in some local churches? Gather a few Christians, add some imaginative reverse-Christian devil worship, throw in a couple of children, and you have a juicy orgy worthy of a television show by HBO.  The UK-based Daily Mail runs a sensationalized “exclusive” on the Christian Hosanna Church in the USA whose Christian members indulge in full-scale ritual abuse of children over many years, an activity that is often blamed on Satanists.

“He described chanting around the child – Trey Bernard’s daughter, barely one year old at the time – before killing a cat, draining its blood and each drinking it.”

It is often the case that when a claim of ritual abuse emerges it is either pure fantasy, or one where a Christian or ignorant occult dabbler has used their interpretation of Satanism as a mask to sexually abuse children.

In the backward-thinking African continent Christian evangelists have got their interpretation of Satanism down to an art form.   Doing its rounds in African media outlets is the story of a 21-year-old under a pseudonym of Steven Kofi who sold his soul and sacrificed his manhood:

“The devil demanded that I make three wishes from him, which I consented to, that I want to be famous, wealthy and live long.”

Evidently the confession of sacrificing babies did not lead to murder charges:

“I joined the church of Satan, I sacrificed a baby, I drank blood and so many other things, which I shouldn’t have done.”

But like all good fairy tales there was a happy ending, as a Christian church saved the unhappy fool, who miraculously grew a new penis in the process.

“On his manhood that was restored during the deliverance session, Kofi said “I give God all the glory that my manhood was restored back, am happy now that I can make more babies again.””


7 thoughts on “Sinister goings on at church

  1. Guys,i wish you could be in my country here in Africa one Sunday morning and watch almost all TVs channels….You cannot watch Mr Bean series again after seeing all those very hilarious comedies being done by the so called Xians..miracles,miracles everywhere….

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